Dark Wishes.

You get them but it turns out that they're poisonous and poison your gums and kill you

I wish i knew what to wish for

Granted. But the wish is so epic, that your head explodes due to the shear awesomeness of the wish.


I wish for A new Xbox 360 to replace my old one (NOTE: IT CANNOT RED RING , Be creative!)

Granted, your new Xbox 360 arrives perfectly intact, brand shiny new and completely working. You are so amazed that you begin kissing it, and only realize that for some reason it has recently been in a tub of frozen nitrogen when your lips become frozen to it. Due to this unforeseen occurrence, you accidentally rip your lips off. Have fun with your New, not so shiny (a little blood splattered) Xbox 360.

I wish that I wasn't so warped and twisted.

There is now World peace. BOOORING

I wish for a pet dragon.

Granted, your dragon arrives in all it's glory. However, it turns out it can't fly, can't breathe fire and only eats peanuts, which give it indigestion.
You are also forced to clean up after it because no one else would take the job. Better start shovelling, mate!

I wish for more lulz wishes like that one.

Granted. But there is so much lulz, your mind cannot take it. You splode.


I wish my foot would not twitch. (and you can't say I get and diseases or have and bodily harm done to me )

Your foot stops twitching but if you even think of anything besides gay men then it starts twitching again.

I wish for jk3files.com to stop rejecting my files. (be creative)

Granted, you get an email from the owner that he is donating the jk3files to you, so problem solved. You get the pay check for the forums, and you shoot yourself.

I wish for a Hssiss.

You get whatever that is but forget what it is and then you fall into a void of forgetfullness.

I wish for

Granted. You get

I wish for Billy Mays action figure!

You didn't ruin my wish so your Billy May's action figure comes to life and chokes you until you take him to go purse shopping.

I wish for a ban on homework yay!

Granted. Now the world becomes so stupid and unable to pass tests. Our world becomes like the world from Idiocracy (Funny as hell movie)

I wish for my girlfriend not to NOM on my flesh ( Not perverted, she bites me)

Granted. She noms on some other guys' flesh.

I wish that the most awesome video game ever would finally be created.

It is and everyone getsa copy except you and your friends won't let you play with them cuase you aren't cool enough.

I wish for epic flying pigs to eat whoever ruins my message

Granted. O shizzle, a flying pig, IT'S COMMING RIGHT FOR ME ARGHH!

I wish for a beer factory.

You get a beer factory, but you aren't allowed to have any of the beer.

I wish for ninja stars

Granted, but due to a misunderstanding you end up with Ninjas who are Celebrities. Needless to say, Celebrity + Ninja = Fail.

I wish that the world would be swarmed by hordes of evil Awesome Smilies and that everyone was made slaves to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and that the world would end in a flash of black light which actually does exist even though it denies the laws of physics just as well as this sentence denies the laws of grammar and that Pokémon would come from the moon and start eating Xav and excrete out his remains in the form of real working Lightsabers that end up malfunctioning and killing everyone again but somehow we are all released from hell and so Mudkips eat us all and send us back again and so we are all rejects from heaven and hell is made too heavy because of all the people and it sinks into the flames which somehow kills Satan even though he is meant to be immortal and so the very fabric of reality breaks and thus even Chuck Norris melts because he is no longer superpowered and the only survivor is actually Tyran who ends up going insane due to lack of people to dictate.

Granted, Tyran makes a new civilization, and makes you out of clay. He then puts you in a smelter and watches you burn.

I wish for a Lydian Drakon!